I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
