He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
