You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
