My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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