I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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