if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
