coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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