I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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