Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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