I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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