Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
