doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
