My friends, they love my intelligence
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
