I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
