So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
