I cannot find my penis.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
