Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
