were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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