I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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