Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
