that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
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It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
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I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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