hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
