She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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