so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
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Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
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Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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