Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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