One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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