I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
