i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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