Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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