She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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