we're blogging at a bar
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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