they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
