I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
