Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
