What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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