Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
