Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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