i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Randomize
