I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
