I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
