I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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