I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
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And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
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Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
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