I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
