so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
