I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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