Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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