At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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