apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
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