Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
