I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize