omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
