dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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