I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
