is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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