i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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