Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
