based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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