woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
