being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
