Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
