i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
