I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
