Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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