Porn is love you can see.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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