I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
