Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
